Know Your Vaules
14th July 2017
‘I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.’ Did you know that this is the most common regret of people on their deathbed? Let’s not follow this trend by living a life not true yourself.
So, what stops people from living a life that’s true to them? Never defining or clarifying their personal values and what is meaningful to them.
If you are out of touch with your deepest values, it is very common to fall into the trap of following the societal norms – which are often very different to your own value system, or you submit to doing what those around you expect or want you to do rather than what you truly want to do.
Mindfulness is another key aspect of living a life that is true to your values. Without mindfulness, you will find that you live your life on a kind of ‘autopilot’ which means that you fall into conditioned, mechanical patterns of thought and behaviour which are not the result of conscious decisions. This tends to align heavily with following societal norms and values. In order to make decisions based around your values, you need to break out of this state of autopilot and make conscious decisions based on what is meaningful to you.
Values are who you are, not who you think you should be in order to fit in.
This all sounds great, but it is difficult to live your life according to your values if you don’t know exactly what they are. You would think that by this point in your life you would know yourself pretty well, but a lot of things get in the way. You may not have taken the time to sit and think about your core values that drive each decision you make or maybe you did, but you never thought to write them down and have forgotten all about it. Or maybe, you got caught up in what you think your values ‘should’ be or what other people decided that you should value.
Values as defined in the dictionary: “something (as a principle or quality) intrinsically valuable or desirable.” We all have values, they are as ingrained within us as our blood types. But have you ever defined what your core values are? Here are some tips on finding your values, although there are many different methods of doing so.
Values shape who they are as a person, there is no right or wrong answer for what your values are, because they are unique and individual to each person. Have a look at the list below, and think about which of these fit in with your values. This is not a definitive list, you are free to add extra words. It is likely that you will value more than one thing in this list, but the purpose of this is to find what you value most.
First, find your top 10 values.
Then find your top 5.
Then your top 3.
Finally, see if you can narrow it down even further to identify your top value.
Next, think about situations in your life when you have felt the happiest, the most proud and the most fulfilled. Can you see any relation between the values selected and these situations?
If you are interested, in more ways of exploring what your values are, get in touch and we can send you more information.